I thought marrying older meant safe. I thought it meant done with games. I thought it meant ready. I was 24 and I believed stability would protect me. Instead, I spent 13 years in survival mode — constantly checking, watching, bracing for the next thing I didn’t want to find. Living with that quiet, exhausting hyper-vigilance that slowly erases you. For the first time in over a decade, I don’t know where he is. I don’t know who he’s texting. I don’t know what he’s hiding. And strangely… I can br

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